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Showing posts from March 6, 2020

SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE: A Solid Foundation

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“I want to be a better spouse.” You say this, thinking back over a multitude of incidents that make up the history of your family. Some of them were funny when they happened; others are funny only as we look back on them. Still others were serious. Some were puzzling. There are months on end when a husband and wife get along beautifully; and then, out of the clear blue sky, there are frequent disagreements. Then, just as mysteriously, things clear up. This is the ebb and flow, the fascination, the never-ending variety, the multitude of moods that make up family living. Seldom, if ever, do the circumstances of living together transform two people into an ever-loving, ever-agreeable, happy couple–fairy tales, popular love songs, romance movies, and a gamble of fate notwithstanding. A solid marriage involves a much greater challenge than simply finding a partner with whom you live happily ever after. It is more than some strange chemistry that draws and holds you togeth

SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE: Like-Minded Marriage

Are you experiencing difficulty in your marriage relationship? Are there times when you just can’t seem to get on the same page with your spouse? People say in their marriage vows: “I will love you and comfort you and keep you in sickness and in health. Forsaking all others, keep unto you as long as we both shall live.  Take you for better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish until death do us part.” We dutifully tell each other that. But unless we bring the fruit of the Spirit into our marriage, these vows are impossible to keep. If you get married with the idea that the person you’re marrying is going to transform your life – turn you into a loving kindly, gentle, cheerful, happy person – you’re mistaken. Marriage is first of all a matter of your spirit, and marriage will reveal what kind of spirit is in your heart. Philippians 2:1 gives us some practical advice for marriage.  “If then there is any encouragement in Chri

SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE: Competing Spouse. A True Story

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When the Dolans, a Christian couple, came to see me, they had not spoken to each other for several weeks. The tension had become unbearable. The issue was over dancing in gym class. Hal Dolan had said flatly that their son should not participate. Melissa Dolan had agreed in front of her husband, but privately gave their son permission to participate. Hal found out about it through a conversation with a neighbor who had visited the gym class. That night at dinner Mr. Dolan asked his son Dave, “What do you do during gym class?” ”I study in the library” he lied. Then Mr. Dolan told them what he had heard. There was a bitter fight that night. Hal ordered Dave to obey him. Dave refused. His mother backed Dave. Mr. Dolan threatened to leave and Melissa told him to go. His bluff was called. He didn’t leave, but they hadn’t spoken since. It was impossible to talk to them together. One contradicted the other. After many sessions, it became clear that this inciden

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